TheInimitableECypher

I'm fed up with everything. I'm fed up with negative news being the first thing I see when I get up, and the last thing I see before I go to bed, because that's the only kind of news there is, anymore. I'm fed up with people who decide to treat anyone who's different from them in any way like shit, and fed up with people who look at national tragedies and say that the people those tragedies befell deserved it in some way. I'm tired of Christian bigots who demonize anyone who doesn't believe like they do (or don't believe at all), and who say that people deserve to burn forever just because they might love someone of their same gender, while ignoring the thrice-divorced serial adulterer in the White House. I'm tired of seeing the planet burning and realizing that nobody's going to do a damn thing to stop it (or is actively contributing to it), knowing that this is the planet I'll have to live on for the next four or five decades, unless something kills me first. And I'm tired of looking at the country I live in and realizing it's beyond redemption, while also knowing I'm going to be stuck here probably for the rest of my life. I'm tired of all of this. Let a meteor strike the damn planet for all I care. I'll just sit here and watch the world burn, since everyone's content to just let it.

Both of them, as a matter of fact, within the space of about twelve hours. The circuit board fried on one and the other just blew the fuck up. So basically we have no electricity at all in my house right now, and still can't pay our fucking bill because the electric company cunts refuse to take payments and nobody around here has funding to help.

We're fucked. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. I can't do anything. I'm sitting here typing this up on a library computer because I can't get on mine and don't know when I'm going to be able to do so.

...still trying to figure out how to pay $3000 to the dumbfuck electric company bastards, and still running the whole house off a generator. What does it say for my character that, while we have to run the entire house on lower power and therefore can't run everything we'd like, the few things I personally won't go without are my computer, internet router, and coffee machine?

I tried sharing a coffee machine with the rest of the house. But I can't take their weak-ass coffee anymore. And I'd have already gone mad without my computer (and all that I can do on it) and without my internet, because I can't fucking do much of anything else (and because the Bundesliga season just kicked off, and if after three months of waiting, I have to miss my BVB play, I'd have burned the damn house to the ground already. I need at least one bright spot in my week, damn it.)

And don't ask how we have no power but we still have internet. The fuckwits at the power company didn't bother to tell us we had a $3000 bill until now. Because they're bastards.  

My family's electricity got shut off and the cocksuckers want $3000 to turn it back on. That's how much we apparently owe them. I don't know what the fuck we're going to do. We can't afford $3000. We already had to pay the damn water bill because they shut that off yesterday. We don't even know where the hell we'd get that much from. $3000 is about how much the entire family makes in a month; possibly more than we make in a month.

I only have power now because we have a generator. But we can't afford fucking kerosene for this thing every day. 

I'm freaking out. I hate this. This feels like every fucking time before we end up having to move again. Shit starts piling up that we can't pay, next thing you know we're on the move again. I can't take another move. I'm going to blow up. And I hate that I can't do a fucking thing about our situation because my sorry ass can't find a job, because I'm stuck in this shithole of a city with no car and no future.

I'm tired of this. Problem after problem in my life and that of my family. It's almost enough to make me wish I'd go to sleep one night and just not wake up. 

...because I'm a fucking idiot. I recently changed it to a complicated password, that usually I have no trouble remembering. Except now it's not working. Long story short, I don't know how but no password I try is working. I'm typing this on my fucking XBOX because it's the only other internet-connected thing I own. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. No new work for a while, at any rate.